Organizing practical matters in advance lowers some of the stress of caregiving. It also helps caregivers concentrate on spending time with the person who is dying. The following are some tips that may help you organize your time and focus your efforts:. Compile a list of important papers that may be needed and where they are.
These could include bank accounts, real estate, stock holdings, and passwords to accounts and online banking. Consider who should be present at or around the time of death. For example, decide whether a clergy member or other spiritual leader should be at the bedside to provide comfort or perform important rituals.
Make a list of people to call after death occurs. And ask a friend or relative to help make those calls. Choose a funeral home and notify the facility that a death is expected in the near future. Most hospices will call the funeral home for you. Notify hospital or hospice staff of cultural or religious customs about death so that they can accommodate them. This may include people who should be present before and after the time of death. Or, it may include special customs regarding washing, dressing, or caring for the body after death.
When death occurs, the person's muscles will relax, breathing will stop, the heart will stop beating, and there will be no pulse. Even when death is expected, it is common—and normal—for caregivers to feel a sense of shock and disbelief. Although home health or hospice staff and the person's doctor should be notified, a natural death is not an emergency. There is usually no need to call medical personnel immediately. Many people find it comforting to take some time to sit with their loved one, perhaps talking quietly, holding hands, or watching their loved one at peace.
Signs of approaching death Death from cancer usually occurs after a person has become weaker and more tired over several weeks or months. The following are signs and symptoms that suggest a person with cancer may be entering the final weeks of life: Worsening weakness and exhaustion.
A need to sleep much of the time, often spending most of the day in bed or resting. Weight loss and muscle thinning or loss. Minimal or no appetite and difficulty eating or swallowing fluids.
Decreased ability to talk and concentrate. Little interest in doing things that were previously important. Loss of interest in the outside world, news, politics, entertainment, and local events. Wanting to have only a few people nearby and limiting time spent with visitors. As the last days of life approach, you may see the following signs and symptoms: Breathing may slow, sometimes with very long pauses between breaths.
Dryness of mouth and lips. Decreased amount of urine. Loss of bladder and bowel control. Restlessness or repetitive, involuntary movements. Confusion about time, place, and identity of people, including family members and close friends.
Providing comfort Family members and caregivers can help the person who is ill become more comfortable during this time. Help the person change positions frequently. Change bedsheets at least twice a week or more often, as necessary. If you are connected with hospice your hospice team can help you with the next steps, or follow this checklist of responsibilities for survivors after death. Dying is a natural process for all people, but it's also a profound mystery in the human experience and no two deaths are ever truly the same.
It helps to know that there are some common steps as you navigate the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes that come when lung cancer patients die. A dying person usually wants support, but be sure that caregivers have a support system too. Everyone grieves differently, and this is important to keep in mind even if you feel prepared. You can't rush grief. Take the time you need to say goodbye to this part of your life before moving on to the next.
If you continue to struggle with your feelings, seek out a good grief counselor. Those who live on often need support and comfort as they face life without their loved one. Limiting processed foods and red meats can help ward off cancer risk. These recipes focus on antioxidant-rich foods to better protect you and your loved ones.
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Table of Contents. End of Life Changes. Emotional Changes. Spiritual Changes. Physical Changes. The Final Days. The Death. For Loved Ones. Recap End-of-life care focuses on quality and comfort when treatment is no longer an option. My dad was diagnosed last August with Asbestosis and a lung tumour.
He was advised against radiotherapy and opted for removal of the tumour along with upper right lobe - they also removed lymph gland as it had spread. After a dreadful post-operative infection and nearly four months in hospital he started to recover and was feeling postive and told it looked clear.
Within 5 weeks he was advised that the cancer had returned to the remainder of his right lung, his left lung and spine. He has been told he has months to live although not given any indication how many and there is no more they can do for hm. He weighs 9 st, has no strength or muscle in his legs to stand and he too is having dreadful delirium at night. My mum is struggling with him. Awaiting scan of brain as they also think its spread there, although since he has been given steroids he is having less delerium.
Other than that he is rational. Spends most of his time in bed. It is just so sad,. I totally understand your rambling. I feel so frustrated that he was given this news and basically told 'sorry we cant do anything go home and die'. So now we are just spending as much time as we can with him and helping my mum. Talking lots, planning his funeral with him etc. Today we were advised by GP that its time to think about the hospice - so surreal.
Sorry I have no advice for you other than to make the most of every minute you have left with your mum. If you have a local hospice go and see them or ask for a visit. They have been the best help and support we have had. If not a Macmillan nurse. Hi my father in law dad was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer April 4 he was told weeks to live without chemo n with chemo it was such a shock he decided to do chemo, he got to round 2 n had to stop it would have killed him as he was so weak a couple of weeks later his gp came and said it wasn't months it was weeks which means up to 4 he has looked at scans n the chemo wasn't doing anything.
Since been told the news by the gp 8 weeks has passed and he's still fighting. He is eating about 6 tablespoons of cornflakes in a morning and after eight mints by the dozen sometimes he wants jersey royals n Ham lol but last night he ate two mouthfuls n said I just can't eat it so we made him a complan instead,he's been like this with food for a few months now was losing lb per fortnight but 2 weeks ago it stopped n he is remaining the same but still not eating a lot and I don't understand why?
Yesterday n today I noticed he is grey in colour, does this mean he is near death now? He is still able to walk upstairs to bed even though the hospital bed has been in the living room 2 months now!
Sorry to hear your posts and my heart goes out to all of you, this journey is terrible x. Im very sorry to hear this I'm so sorry you've found yourself here on these boards. Lung cancer is a very unforgiving disease and sadly 'happy endings' are rare as its often spread extensively by the time symptoms become apparent.
I lost my own lovely husband to the disease in August - just 10 weeks after he was diagnosed. He was just 54 years old. I feel blessed that I was able to care for him at home and he passed surrounded by love. The only advice I can offer is spend as much time as you can with your mum.
Make every minute count. Say all the things you feel you want to say. Tell her what a great mum she is and how much you love her. We thought we had months left but in the end my husband went downhill so quickly - I still can't believe how quickly. I would also encourage you to continue posting here so you can get valuable support.
Thank you for everyone taking the time to give me the advice which is greatly appreciated. I am trying to spend as much quality time with mum as possible and making the most of the time we have left and, of course, supporting my dad.
Mum is now sleeping quite a lot but she had a fall in hospital on Tuesday evening resulting in her fracturing her clavicle.
Her pain relief has been increased as a result of this. She is still very confused but you can see her trying to work things out. We are waiting for the care home to get a bed available which will be much more comfortable than in hospital and much more dignified.
I have four elderly parents, all just shy of 80 and have been fortunate to have spent so much time with them all. They are all wonderful normal characters My father in law has pancreatic cancer which he has had for 7 months, my mother in law has lung cancer and has been battling for two years. She has part of neck removed and has limited movement on her left arm. My mother was diagnosed in May with lung cancer and he now under going chemo to be hopefully followed by 30 concurrent doses of radiotherapy My Dad has suffered for 10 years with diabetes,and heart complaints.
He has a pacemaker and defibrillator in his chest and can only walk limited distances. My mother in law lives abroad so I can only call her for updates. The rest of my crew I keep daily checks signs and symptoms and give them all as much time as possible. Any thing they want they get. We have moved my father in law in with us now as he sleeps a lot buikt I push him to maintain a normal as possible, Get him dressed ,short outings which he seems to respond to.
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